I don’t believe that a partner starts out with the malicious decision, to hurt you. Rescue the Relationship before its too late. I recently was listening to a lecture about the programing of the conscious and subconscious mind
The conscious mind is based on 4 principals, these are spilt second decisions that we make. We don’t over Analise them in our daily live.
We are aware of the things happening around us
1.) Perception – are based on our 4 senses, hear, see, smell and taste, but we all perceive these senses differently, so the question will be what is your perception?
our perceptions are based on our past experiences of information stored in our minds. We actually filter out the majority of things coming into our minds but we do keep allot of the information. So what would be your perception of what your mind kept ?
2)Association- we find this past experience associate with our stored memories. We associate this with either pain or pleasure.
3) Evaluation - and now we evaluate: What should I do?, the decision will be based on whats more important to you at that given time. But you need to remember that 80% of our decisions will be emotional, and the 20% will be based on justifying our 80% of past memories.
Allow me to give a simple example, we are born with only 2 fears falling and loud noises the rest we accumulate over the years. So as a child – for our protection you were told not to talk to strangers. This warming has been the cause of public speaking being the number 1 fear in America.
so 80% is based on being warned in the past and 20% is justifying that it could lead to danger.
4)Most of the information stored in our subconscious is faulty and irrational. Because if I offered you a brand new car to speak publicly, your previous, No, will start reevaluating the new car and get over the fear and do it irrelevant of the fear.
So lets go back to the first section, Did your spouse cheat? Like an alcoholic has to admit he’s an alcoholic a cheater has to admit to cheating, In order to move forward and repair the relationship.
Now for the big shocker, your spouse cheating is Not a personal reflection on you, It is associated with their memories of youthful pleasures and not lack of pleasure with you. SO gain new in-site and don’t throw away a relationship due to cheaters. Both sides need to enter this situation with the intent to move forward, only then will forgiving your spouse start.
Step 1 ) Make the partner aware of the pain that was caused to you, Try and take a step back to truly analyze what your pain is associated with, eg. fear of rejection, or something else.
Step 2 ) A women’s main interest in a cheating husband is usually, Do you love the other women? As men are capable of having unattached sex, easier than women. If this is the case, Forgiving is easier. If it is the woman whom has been cheating, Men leave your ego by the door. Women too are capable of unattached sex.
Step 3) Discuss you needs in your relationship, Are your needs being met? It’s possible to spice up your relationship.
Step 4) The healing , Forgiving process, seek out a professional and talk more. Rebuilding the relationship is like a brand new courtship, and can be exciting and just what you need. Do things together on a regular basis, get a babysitter and go out. to a movie to a restaurant, it has to be a permanent once a week or 2 week date. Time together alone with out the whole family involved.
Step 5) Forgiving your Spouse is like being reborn into a new relationship, Do not throw your past memories away because of infidelity.